So many thoughts

As in many households across the world, our home has been filled with talk of the shootings at Virginia Tech. As names of the fatalities trickle out, LMK and I check the list for people he knew/worked with or had while he was at Virginia Tech. So far, he knows 2.

I watched the Convocation over the internet today while I subbed for LMK. The entire situation is surreal. I'm looking for a copy of the poem Nikki Giovanni wrote and read at the end of the ceremony. (Search for We Are Virginia Tech) After a little searching, I found the footage on Fox News. Ms. Giovanni's poem was perfect in my opinion. I don't think I was the only one who got chills when all of Cassell began chanting, "Let's go, Hokies!" As Ms. Giovanni said, "We will prevail".

At a teacher message board I frequent, one poster is railing against the administration's handling of the situation. As much as statements like these sadden me, they infuriate me even more. Could it have been handled better, certainly. Were mistakes made, probably. However, no one thinks it will happen to them. Looking back, we see signs we didn't see before because we KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR.

It's so hard to describe Virginia Tech to someone who has never been to the school. It's a huge school with 26,000 students. Huge. However, I never felt like I was attending a huge school. My department was small and very close. LMK's department was smaller than mine and even more close knit. We never felt unsafe. The worst thing you had to worry about was someone flying around the drillfield when you stepped out to cross the street. I never worried about my safety or LMK's safety. Now, to have that sense of safety shattered so violently has thrust us both into shock. Things like this don't happen in Blackburg.

Another thought I have been struggling with is the reports of a professor that died trying to protect his students. What a wonderful man he must have been. As a teacher, I find myself wondering if I would do the same thing for my future students. The truth is, I don't know. Would I die so that they may live? I hate that I don't immediately say yes. LMK would. He's just that kind of guy. But me? I can't say that I would. Does that make me a bad person? A selfish person?

I read this this morning and she describes what I cannot describe so well.

"When you go to Tech, it’s in your blood. I think of the kind of camaraderie and the pride -- they call it “hokie pride.” It sounds corny, but it is how proud the students are of their school."

"But I’m really hopeful because out of the worst tragedy, you watch people rise up. And it will happen on the campus of Virginia Tech.

Those students will rise up. I’ll bet on that."

Last night, I put out our Virginia Tech flags. I'll wear my maroon and orange and I'll know - they really do match.

We are Hokies. We are strong. We Are Virginia Tech!

What kind of world?

Oh. My. God.

I lived in West AJ my freshman year. LMK's department was located in the building next to Norris. He had all kinds of classes in Norris.

The reality of how lucky we are sets in from time to time. The whole situation makes me ill. What kind of world do we live in?

I'm afraid the administration is going to have some hard questions asked of them when this is over. Two separate shooting incidents in one year. They better get a handle on this quickly.

Please keep all the students on campus in your thoughts.

**Updated to add: 30 reported fatalities. LMK called at lunch and I burst into tears. How can people be so awful.

A-day

Not thinking about what is going on at home today. LMK has had enough excitement over the past day or so that a calm weekend is looking great.

I'm working on a movie for Mo Mom's girls (a.k.a. my cousins). It's lots of fun. Ever want to have a giggle, talk to a child. Don't just talk. LISTEN to them. I've spent the afternoon laughing and giggling at all the funny things these kids do and say. Makes me want to teach even more.

Definitely thinking of getting a Mac someday. I love computers for making movies, making webpages, and uploading digital pictures....why DON'T I have a mac?

And it's not JUST because Little Brother got this, but that's part of it.

Woo-hoo?

I just got home from my interview with Small County. Knock on wood, I think it went well. It's one of the few interviews I can look back on and say, you know, I didn't say anything stupid, I didn't have an idiot moment, or a foot in mouth moment. Whether or not a job comes from this, I am pleased with the way my interview skills are developing. I am no longer a bumbling fool. That alone is worth a big woohoo!

In other we-don't-talk-about-it news, tomorrow is the auction of the farm. They're selling all the tractors, farm equipment, etc. All of my cousins are coming in (or are in) from Missouri. My aunt and Mo Mom are excited - it's all about them. Me? I'm severely bummed. I can only imagine how hard tomorrow is going to be on my mom and my uncle. 100 years of farming and now, it's gone. Okay...enough of that. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

Damn, it just occured to me that I didn't ask when I would hear whether I got the job or not. Damnit!

FOAD

Normally, I don't do a FOAD. Life's too short and all of that. However, an event that happened this past Sunday definitely warrants a FOAD of epic proportions (at least for me).

First, FOAD to Martin's. I accept responsibility for being in the express lane with more than my share of allotted items. I'm the devil, I'm going to hell. HOWEVER, I do no apologize for not seeing the tiny, partially illuminated, sign that was obscured by "Pick of the Week" balloons. Move the balloons and hang a frickin' sign above the checkout lane like every other grocery store.

Secondly, a big, huge FOAD to the asshole behind us in line. Once I realized my mistake I began to apologize profusely and offered to reload my cart and move to another check out lane. The clerk was very nice and said that wouldn't be necessary and that the sign WAS hard to see (see above).

You, however, couldn't let it go.

Yes, I understand that it's Murphy's law that you end up behind me in the grocery line when you're "just trying to buy your lunch." I apologized, not once, but several times. Furthermore, I don't care when you "learned to read" and the implication that I cannot read really pisses me off.

I made a mistake, it happens. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you are, asshole. However, the next time you decide to berate me in line at the grocery store, I will NOT give LMK The Look in order to silence him. I will let him tell you off and ruin not only my day, but hopefully your day as well.

SSDD

We're back to our "normal" lives. LMK is working. I'm subbing for him on Thursday afternoon. I have an interview on Friday for a job in small county. The job is actually at the school I can virtually see from our front yard. It's literally down the street from us. I'm going in hoping for the best. I really like what I've heard about Large County, but a 30-45 minute commute does not fair well against a 30-45 second commute. I like the administration at the school so that is another big plus.

In other news, I have my fingerprints, I just need to take them down to the board office along with a check for $37. Forgive me if I'm being a bit cheap. I had a set of prints done for The School and they took care of whatever fees needed paid. Not only will Small County not accept The School's record, they want me to pay additional money. I'm a sub - money doesn't just grow on trees for us!

My plans for the rest of today include catching up on the shows I have DVR'd, playing with my newest toy (my electronic portfolio is going to be bitchin'), and perhaps making a movie for my cousin's daughters. I have great video of Wild Middle Child shoveling in berries and peaches while making fruit pizza. So cute.

Home again

Lucy riding shotgun with me in the golf cart.

We're home.

The boys met us at the door. It's nice to be missed.

I spent yesterday with my cousin's two oldest daughters. We had a great time. We made pillow dogs for lunch, vegetable and fruit pizza for dinner, punch, gak, sponge animals, drawings, colored eggs, made mugs, strung candy necklaces, and door hangers. 153 pictures/videos later...

We had dinner with the whole family and I got to play with the youngest daughter. I'm glad to be home.

But I miss my family...and Lucy.

The auction of the farm stuff is this coming weekend. Not sad about missing that.

Country quiet?

6:30 A.M. - The first of the gravel truck start rumbling by to get in line to be loaded.

6:33 A.M. - Give up trying to ignore them, get up and close window.

6:34 A.M. - Crawl back in bed as another gravel truck rumbles by.

6:37 A.M. - Turn over and squinch eyes shut. Must sleep. Cheese plate today.

6:42 A.M. - Officially cannot sleep. Begin planning what to do with A3 when they arrive Friday.

6:51 A.M. - Hear Dad downstairs having coughing fit.

6:55 A.M. - Gravel trucks start rumbling back down the road taking their first load of the day to wherever they take them.

6:58 A.M. - Turn over again and count slowly down from 100. Sleepy time.

7:05 A.M. - Alarm on one of the dozers goes off. Wee ooo wee ooo wee ooo. Damnit!

7:13 A.M. - Have planned several different activities - many more than I have time for. Maybe we'll stop at Michael's on the way home today and check what they have for kids to make.

7:22 A.M. - Car zooms past.

7:26 A.M. - Hear LMK snoring somewhere in the distance.

7:35 A.M. - Recycling truck rumbles up, air brakes hissing.

I need to go home to the city where it's quiet, in order to sleep.

Strange

That's the best way to describe how I feel.

I'm home...but this isn't my home anymore.

I miss my parents, but there's nothing here for me anymore. Jobs are non-existent or dead end.

We moved for the right reasons. It was the right thing to do. Change is good, but it's still difficult.

More when I get home. Enjoy your week everyone!

Happy birthday Charlotte!

Dyson? Oh yeah!

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a Dyson vacuum! Boy, it would be a nice one to have upstairs, instead of lugging our huge vacuum up and down the steps constantly.

Go sign up - good luck!

Tomorrow we're heading to Ohio. Woohoo! Maybe then all my weird dreams will stop. Anyone know the significance if you can't open your eyes in a dream? I still do stuff, I just can't keep my eyes open.

Open for Business

We made it to West Virginia a day early. Woooo. Actually, it's not that bad. The drive is long and there are several big mountains to climb, but the scenery is gorgeous. I've found my future home. It's a gorgeous log cabin located on top of a mountain. You can see it for miles and miles and miles. Finally, all of a sudden, you round a corner and - BAM! there it is on top of the mountain you're driving by. Not a great winter home, but I bet the view is amazing.

In other news, I'm less itchy. MUCH less itchy. The meds are still making me neurotic - hyper (I don't sleep much) and I always feel hungry. However, according to the scale today at the SuperMegaMart, I've lost over 20 pounds since we moved. I scoffed all the way to the car about how "off" the scale was. Oh, perchance to dream, that it was actually accurate.

Today I cleaned out my car. It really needed it. I still need to get it washed, but I didn't want to waste time doing it today since it will be parked outside the rest of the time we are here and it's supposed to rain. I vacuumed the interior, emptied the trash, organized the maps (of which we have way too many), and cleaned the dash. My in-laws Armor-All must be stale or something. I remember is smelling kinda icky, but this stuff? It's awful. It smells like a sweaty construction worker sat in my car with his equally sweaty donkey. It's disgusting. I tried Febreezing - it didn't work. Must pick up an air freshner tomorrow when we go shopping.

Lastly, my mother-in-law is truly a Martha Stewart wanna-be. Everything is always neat as a pin and smellin fresh. Our bedroom is so fragrant I have to unplug the horrible air freshner at night just to be able to breathe. However, I can say I have seen it all.

She has an air freshner...in the garage! The garage!

Itchy

I apologize for my lack of posting lately. I've been itching.

About two weeks ago I started getting a rash on my legs. I took some wonderful allergy medicine (how I love that pink and white pill) but the rash began to spread. So by the middle of last week, I was literally going insane. Being itchy is one thing that will seriously send me off the deep end. So I made an appointment with the doctor for Friday. Friday morning, they called to tell me my doctor wasn't coming in. Would I like to see another doctor? HELL YES! Usually I don't like the unfamiliar but I was so miserable I decided to I could deal with a new doctor.

So far, I really like the new doctor. He's soft spoken and answers all my questions. I think I like him better than the doctor we had been seeing. He looked at the rash on my legs and said, "Boy...that looks angry." Uh, yeah! And itchy as all get out. I racked my brain for things I've changed recently. I switched a medicine about a month and a half ago because our insurance requires us to try a different medicine first (what a crock). I also switched laundry detergent when we moved, 3 months ago. We've carefully ruled out all these possibilities. The doctor gave me an antibiotic and told me to stop taking the new medicine. He also did a biopsy of the rash and sent to to be tested. HE CUT A CHUNK OF MY LEG OUT! I have stitches! Stitches!

Well, I took my antibiotic and I still itched. In fact, the rash spread. Sure, parts of it cleared up some, but it was getting bigger. The pink and white pills were barely taking the edge off the itching, but the doctor didn't really suggest anything else for me to do. I took a LOT of baking soda baths.

Yesterday, I went back to see the doctor to find out what the lab report suggested. It was vague, like he thought it would be. They think it's a reaction to a med. Dangit! Then I started thinking about it. I take 3 medications every day. One I had to switch because the insurance required me to try this other medicine first. The other I switched in January because I had been taking it and a water pill, now I have the pill that includes the water pill (I take one pill instead of 2). The last one I switched almost 2 months ago to generic (once again, our insurance wants generic covered first). So I told him, now that I think about it. I've fiddled with all my medications in the past 3 months.

Great.

He put me on prednisone which should fix the problem (he says). Of course, my mom was on the med when she had her allergic reaction. It will raise my blood sugar, so I'll have to be careful. He said it will make me feel hungry - great just what I need. It could also make me irritable - how will LMK know? Finally, it could make me hyper. Hehehe, oh LMK is in for a great spring break.

Spring break starts today at 4. Woohoo! We're going to West Virginia for a few days next week. Then it's back here for an interview with Large County on the 31st. After which we will immediately head to Ohio! Have I said woohoo?

Weekend Recap

We had an exciting weekend.

Friday, I went to the doctor because my rash was still itching and still getting worse. He was as stumped as I was about what had caused this rash. He did a biopsy (ow) and gave me some antibiotics. I go back to see him on Thursday and hopefully he'll know more. Meanwhile, I'm still itchy. It waxes and wanes, but generally, I itch.

Friday evening we set out for Richmond. Of course, at the time it was alternating between sleeting and snowing - making the roads lots of fun to be on. However, we took our time and made it to Richmond in 3 hours. Only a half hour longer than it should have taken. Our hotel was right downtown, only 6 or 7 blocks from the convention center. LMK and I discussed it and decided that since the weather on Saturday was supposed to be very cold and I was planning to wear a skirt that we would get up early and drive to the convention center instead of walk.

Then we went off in search of food. We had no idea where we were going, so eventually we ended up back at the hotel. Around this time, I was getting VERY, VERY itchy. Of course, I had forgotten my Cortisone cream. We checked the phone book, located the nearest Wal-Mart and set out. We drove and drove and drove. No Wally World. Finally, LMK spotted a Target. Hooray! Target! I like Target better anyway. I got some cream and we started back to get dinner. I chose Panera and LMK chose Wendy's. LMK was tired and ready to go home, he would have picked anything at that point. We got our food to go and went back to the hotel. We ate and LMK called for a 6AM wake-up call. Me? I was still itchy. Finally at 11 o'clock I fell asleep.

At 4:30 our phone rang. WTF!? "This is your wake-up call." LMK called the front desk to see what was going on and we decided that some wonderful hotel guest had called our room to prank us. Grrr. We tossed and turned for a few more hours until our real wake-up call came.

We arrived at the convention center at 7:30 and we were able to pack in an adjacent parking garage. Hooray! We checked into the Teach-In and waited until the booths opened. I visited 6 surrounding school districts. Two weren't conducting interviews. Small County had sent the man I had interviewed with for subbing. He asked if I had all my paperwork in and essentially sent me on my way. Gee, thanks. I'm consistently underwhelmed by Small County, but I digress. I interviewed with two districts. One is where a friend of mine teaches. The other is Large County. I am in love with large county. I want to work there.

LMK was able to meet with licensure specialists and figure out exactly what he needs to do to get his teaching license. He also met with two universities a local one and the only one (Go Hokies!). He wandered around the booths while I was interviewing wearing his polo from The School. Wouldn't you know it, the man from Small County tried to recruit him! "Are you happy at The School?" They don't give me the time of day, but LMK is in high demand.

Grrrrrr.

I did it!

I subbed and the high schoolers didn't emotionally scar me. Woohoo!

I also went to Substitute "Inservice" for Small County today. Oy vey. I basically sat in the room with 8 parents from around the district and watched a movie on Classroom Management and Instruction. Dude! My college education, in thirty-five minutes. Score! I must call home and tell my mother how they wasted all their money sending me to college.

I even found a way not to jump over the table and strangle the HR guy when he used anecdotes to tell us about "stupid things subs do." That took a lot of self-restraint.

Pod Teenagers

Over the past few months, I've been adjusting to life in Virginia. People talk funny. Everything is in English and Spanish. All in all, I'm liking our new home. There is so much to see and do that I've never done before that each time we go out, it's an adventure.

This week, I will interview with Small County schools to get on their subbing list. I will also sub for LMK on Wednesday and Friday (if his games aren't cancelled like todays). Finally, we will travel to Richmond so I can hopefully interview with all the surrounding schools in hopes of getting a job for next year. This week starts the beginning of the spring break count down(2 more weeks!) and we are busy, busy, busy.

I'm looking forward to getting into the Small County elementary schools and seeing if I like it. I've been warned about Small County, but it's mostly been from people involved in the high school. I've seen the teenagers around here - and yep, they'd worry me too. However, with no specifics, just a "watch out" I can't help but not worry.

I'd like to think that I can teach anywhere. In fact, my cooperating teacher told me once, if I could teach in Roanoke City schools, I could teach anywhere. Mind you, I won't be heading into the DC schools, but most urban schools don't worry me. Every school has it's problems - urban schools have urban problems, rural schools have rural problems. Right now, all I want is a job. Once I get some teaching experience, I'll think about moving to a more desirable district if needed.

Now, about those pod-teenagers...

I am constantly amazed, no, flabbergasted by LMK's students. Not only do they come up to him in public and speak to him. They're polite! Uber-polite! It's always, "Hello, sir. Yes, sir. No, sir. Nice to meet you, ma'am." It's all I can do not to stand there and stare at them with my mouth hanging open.

Friday, I went up and met his kids. I always like to know the kids a little before I walk into a classroom. Being a first time high school sub, this was doubly important to me. These are still typical teenagers. They're concerned with themselves, make stupid choices, and whine, but under that - they're just nice kids.

As his last class was leaving, several students stopped to say, "It was nice meeting you, Mrs."
"It was nice meeting you, too. I will see you on Monday," I replied.
"Oh no, Mrs." One student said stopping and looking proud, "I won't be here. I have a game."
"In that case, good luck!"

As we were leaving Friday afternoon, one of LMK's students all but jumped in front of the car to get us to stop. LMK got out and the student turned over his missing homework assignments. "I'm sorry they're late, sir," he apologized, "and I'm sorry to have to interrupt you on your way to practice."

Saturday, we went to a movie with LMK's parents downtown. We ran into another one of his students. He, too, was unfailingly polite and well-spoken. It's refreshing to speak to teenagers who are trained to be polite. My mother worked hard on my brother and I to teach us manners and respect for our elders. For goodness sakes, when I subbed for her colleagues that had known me since I was born, I still called them Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones. I thought manners had all but disappeared.

Teenagers, with manners! At The School, teenagers with manners aren't the exception, but the rule. I swear, The School is spoiling me. No school is going to live up to the atmosphere at The School. Everyone is so unfailingly polite, generous, and kind it's amazing. I don't know whether I should be proud to be associated with such a wonderful program or if I should be upset that a little dose of manners and common courtesy are such a shock.

I'm glad I'm not working at The School more. All these kids would have to do is "ma'am" me a couple times and I'd give them whatever they wanted.

Tidbits

We finally ordered our tickets to Thoroughly Modern Millie!

LMK and I have made it a tradition to go to a show for our anniversary for the past few years. He and my parents were even sweet enough to take me to see The Sound of Music for my birthday. This year, there was nothing I wanted to see around our anniversary, but I saw they would have TMM in the spring. I love the movie with Julie Andrews (I love anything with Julie Andrews) and I have been dying to see the musical.

LMK got tickets last night! We're going when we are in Ohio for Spring Break. I'm so excited. TMM and the cheese plate which I love...mmm cheese (if it wasn't so expensive, we'd get the fruit plate, too). I'm so excited. I'll spend the month until we go to Ohio studying the menu and deciding what I will get. I know it's cheesy, but I just love going to Carousel. The food is delicious and I love seeing musicals.

Also, over the weekend, I made O.live Ga.rden soup. I found the recipe on a website that has dozens of restaurant recipes (OG and others). It was delicious! I think I liked it better than the actual soup at Olive Garden because I control what goes in and how much. I will definitely be trying it again with skim milk instead of heavy cream. While it won't be as yummy, it might not qualify as a heart attack in a bowl.

Insanity

I have lost my ever-lovin' mind! I'm having flashbacks to the day LMK came home from practice at The College and told me Head Coach had agreed us hosting a team function was a great idea.

"I said I'd do what!?"

Next week, LMK starts soccer games. In order for him to coach, he'll have to leave school early on game days. Usually not more than the last period or two. As long as we've been here, I've heard how hard it is for The School to get subs (I've heard its a problem for most private schools). So instead of having someone in the administration come cover LMK's class, I said I'd do it. Why?

I DON'T KNOW!

In all honesty, I'm not that concerned about subbing for him. I know he will leave me enough work for the kids to complete. I know he will back up any decisions I make. But most importantly, I know he will nail their asses to the wall should they give me problems. After all, he's the one that told me "If they give you trouble, then you give me trouble and I can make them sorry they gave you trouble." Hehehe. My work here is done. Who knows, I may love it. Right now, I'm just excited to be getting out of the house for a few hours. FREEDOM! I'm planning to go up Friday afternoon to meet his kids. Plus, I need to ask the secretary that does subbing about some of the protocol I'll need to follow. Another day out of the house!

Also, the interview/sub meeting I worried about - not a problem. Yesterday, Small County called to reschedule my interview due to the forecasted weather. "Great," I thought, "I can go to Large County's sub meeting".

Ahahahahahaha, I'm so funny. All the schools are closed today due to inclement weather. Mind you, it didn't even start snowing until 1 in the afternoon. Gotta love Virginia!

Catch Me I'm Falling

This morning as I was trying to squeeze in a few last moments of sleep with the kitties. I heard a huge CRASH! Kitties where running every which way. Socks was so startled, he fell off the bed. I checked out the upstairs and didn't notice anything wrong. So I got dressed and went downstairs to take my medicine and get some breakfast.

Once I took my pills, I decided to check the mail. I opened the front door and saw this:


Ah ha. I have found what made the crashing noise. So I went back upstairs and sent LMK a SOS email and went in search of the missing window. Finally, I found the window in LMK's closet had been literally blown out. We have the inside wooden windows, but the frame for the storm windows? Gone.

LMK came home at lunch time to assess the damage. He called maintenance and was assured as soon as someone came back from lunch they would send them over. I expect them any time now. It's been almost 24 hours and no maintenance, so maybe I was concerned about nothing. Evidently, windows get blown out of the frames all the time around here. No big deal. Yesterday, I waited several hours and then went out and cleaned up the mess. There is still some glass in the brick, but I got a lot of it picked up.

I will NOT be cleaning this up though. Nope, they can go out and do that part. Me climbing on the roof is NOT a good idea.

Heh

When it rains

Wednesday is the last substitute meeting of the year for Large County. Once a month, they have a half day sub training meeting where prospective subs fill out paper work and I'm sure, listen to safety training, etc. Last month, I couldn't go because it snowed and school was closed. Once you attend the meeting, they add you to the list a month later. (If I go to the one next Wednesday, I would get added at the beginning of April)

I've been planning for a month to go to this meeting. Right?

Yesterday, I got a call for a substitute interview with Small County schools. The schools that are RIGHT IN TOWN. When is my interview? You guessed it, Wednesday morning. Followed by training for 2 hours on the 14th.

Which would YOU go to?

Some facts:

• Large county schools drive ranges from 40-60 minutes for me.
• Small County schools drive ranges from 3 - 10 minutes for me (I can walk to one).
• Large County School's "real" jobs pay a little more than Small County.
• Both schools pay the same sub rate.
• I have an interview on the 31st with Large County.
• I have heard "horror" stories of how "bad" Small County schools are. I have no evidence that this is true.
  
• Both schools will be at the GVTI on the 17th (which LMK and I decided I should attend, yesterday).