I never thought there would be days that I hate my job this much or that they'd happen so often.

Maybe I wasn't cut out to teach. I already spend my days feeling like I'm letting my kids down. Now, I have parents complaining their gifted child is bored. SO AM I!? We're reviewing, it's boring. I didn't know I was supposed to get up in the front of the room and dance.

Since a parent went to the principal and complained (without coming to me mind you) that their little angel is bored, I now have an official negative evaluation. Great. It's not formal, but its still written down.

I'm seriously at a loss. I'm told 90% of my students are expected to pass the state tests. If that didn't sound unreasonable enough...let me break it down by numbers. That means I can have EXACTLY 1 student fail. I've got 7 working below grade level, 3 of those are at least two grade levels behind, and 3 potentially gifted students.

I keep my homeroom for reading in which they must be taught on grade level. As I understand that, it means everyone is presented the same information. However, I am supposed to be differentiating.

I have one student at an 11th grade math level. What the hell do I do with him?

Science we were asked to increase use of the interactive notebooks. I've been using them all year. I'm pretty darn proud I've stuck with them this long - they're B-O-R-I-N-G! But oh no, the gifties are bored.

Oh, don't use paper. We're trying to reduce copying costs and we make far too many copies.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like no matter what I do, it's wrong. I look around and I hear/see all these great teachers and I honestly wonder how they do it.

For a job that everyone tells me I am a natural at - I suck. I am the most educated on my team, but I feel like the kid who is below grade level. I feel like I've forgotten everything in the four years I spent subbing. My mentor is no help. He uses the textbook more than me. The other 4th grade teacher is in the same boat, but she's smarter than me. She has great ideas. Me. Not so much.

Maybe subbing is the way to go. No thinking, just following someone else's plans. THAT I can do and do well.

Suggestions? Anyone? Anything? I'm really kind of desperate at this point. It usually takes more than a month of school to break me. Hey, last year I made it to October.

As far as I can tell, I have two choices. Get a technology job - which I think I would be good at (but hey, I thought I could be a good teacher), or get out of this district. Out of Virginia.

Are there any other jobs out there for teacher with 2 years teaching experience who just can't hack it? Target is looking better and better all the time.