Normally, I don't do a FOAD. Life's too short and all of that. However, an event that happened this past Sunday definitely warrants a FOAD of epic proportions (at least for me).

First, FOAD to Martin's. I accept responsibility for being in the express lane with more than my share of allotted items. I'm the devil, I'm going to hell. HOWEVER, I do no apologize for not seeing the tiny, partially illuminated, sign that was obscured by "Pick of the Week" balloons. Move the balloons and hang a frickin' sign above the checkout lane like every other grocery store.

Secondly, a big, huge FOAD to the asshole behind us in line. Once I realized my mistake I began to apologize profusely and offered to reload my cart and move to another check out lane. The clerk was very nice and said that wouldn't be necessary and that the sign WAS hard to see (see above).

You, however, couldn't let it go.

Yes, I understand that it's Murphy's law that you end up behind me in the grocery line when you're "just trying to buy your lunch." I apologized, not once, but several times. Furthermore, I don't care when you "learned to read" and the implication that I cannot read really pisses me off.

I made a mistake, it happens. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you are, asshole. However, the next time you decide to berate me in line at the grocery store, I will NOT give LMK The Look in order to silence him. I will let him tell you off and ruin not only my day, but hopefully your day as well.